I Just Have To Keep Looking

This week was another odd week. It’s been a trend lately that — ironically — has been stressing me out. Our family treasures that we have the freedom and means to spend time together, but it’s been taking advantage of this very freedom and its subsequent disruption of the schedule I built for our school days that has been wreaking havoc on my state of mind. For reasons unknown (beyond my desperate desire for an established routine, that is), I’ve been butting heads with a slightly chaotic reality lately that’s been at odds with my fabricated idea of school year normalcy. It’s left me feeling a little defeated and very tired. I realize it’s all in my head and really kind of ridiculous considering how much of the issue is all in my own perception of what “should be,” but I’ve been feeling weary nonetheless.

Today, however, I’m delighted to have a day at home. To reflect on the past busy week, share a bit here with you, and hopefully unearth a reminder that I may need to give myself a break; that maybe all the internal frustration is indeed pretty baseless and that I just need to relax a little and adjust my perspective. Can a day at home do all that?! I suppose we will find out!

It started, you see, with a hike…

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on a beautiful day with Moose.

There were flowers both new…

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and colorful…

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and spent…

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This is often the case this time of year. The leaves are starting to change here and it feels almost unreal that the summer is almost over and that fall is beginning to take hold. All those familiar markers that denote the coming fall were somehow disrupted in my mind this year and I feel taken by surprises by the red and yellow leaves starting to show in the trees and the cooler nights we’ve seen sporadically.

Somewhere during the week I managed to finish spinning some singles…

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“Painted Nettles” was such a colorful spin. I’m going to ply it as a simple 2-ply and I purchased a coordinating red to go with it to possibly use in a 2-color shawl knit someday. I’m really into this idea of spinning multiple skeins that work together for future 2 or 3 color projects. I’m in no rush with this one as I likely won’t get to the red anytime soon.

At mid-week, we all piled in the car and headed East. Mr. Knitting Sarah had meetings for work that took place a short drive from my parents’ house, so we rode along to spend some time with them. We left early Wednesday and dropped the kids and dog for some quality time with Grandma & Grandpa while Mr. KS & I headed to the beach…

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We don’t get much Big Water time anymore where we live and Mr. KS knows that it’s something that I miss dearly, so he made a point to take me and let me spend some time.

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I did some beach knitting and enjoyed the last of my morning coffee. We stayed a good long while, until Mr. KS started to get a little stir-crazy and hot in the sun. Where I could stay at the beach all day, he kind of hates the sun because he burns very easily. It makes the fact that he made a point of taking me all the sweeter! It was restorative, indeed, and I should add that on the knitting front, I still adore this knit!

The next day as Mr. KS went to his meetings, the kids and I spent quality time enjoying some panfish catch & release with my dad…

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We just went to a small lake a few miles from their house, but the water was so clear we could watch the little bluegills nibbling our worms. It was a beautiful day to be on the water! And when we returned, we grabbed a late lunch and then I volunteered to mow my parents’ lawn. They have a nice lawn tractor, so I listen to music and zoom along and get the job done for them. When we’re there long enough and it needs to be done, I never mind doing it.

After an early night and a somewhat quiet morning, we picked up Mr. KS from his last meeting and headed home in order to make it back for our town’s annual Maple Fall Festival where we had to work bright and early the following morning. We spent most of the day working, but playing, too.

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That’s my girl, “Zorbing” with gusto! If you ask me, she sort of looks like a girl trapped in a bubble in this image, but she swears she enjoyed it! We got home around dinner time, pretty exhausted from the cumulative effect of multiple days in the sun. When my head hit the pillow last night, it was heavy.

I woke up this morning, though, and was ready to take advantage of a day at home which seems to be exactly what someone else in this house needs as well…

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This is the current view under my desk (the white streak on his face is just a sunbeam, but that is his ear up against my knee — how this is comfortable, I have no idea). I think Moose might have been a little bummed to be trucked about all week with us and all the unpredictable comings and goings and then stuck home alone yesterday for most of the day. Poor, sweet fella!

In any case, dog plastered to me, I worked on a swatch for my Tecumseh sweater this morning…

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And I learned a few things:

  1. My yarn measures out to a DK weight (hooray!), but
  2. I do not like it knit to the prescribed gauge of 22sts = 4″
  3. I love it knit to the gauge of 19sts = 4″
  4. I can do math to figure out a way to (hopefully) make that work

And thus, the project moves on! I’m planning to prep my main color today and get spinning! I’ve got grey from 2 separate dyelots, so I will be prepping and mixing them all up to hopefully blend it all into one nice lot of yarn.

As I wrap this whole account up, I can’t help but recognize that it was a pretty amazing week, full of family and memories, and so many good experiences. True, my schedule was blown to bits and the dog is being a little weird today, but maybe that’s just the way it is. You just don’t get the whole kit & kaboodle — freedom and order, schedules and days at the beach. Somewhere in all of it, there’s got to be a balance to be found — be it in perspective and frame of mind or just making it all work together in harmony. I have to believe that balance is out there somewhere even if it’s been eluding me lately. I think I just have to keep looking.

 

 

11 thoughts on “I Just Have To Keep Looking

  1. Sometimes the good things get us out of whack, and we just need that day at home to get settled. Glad you had a day at the beach and that you get a day at home so you and Moose can settle down.

    The shawl looks great! I am enjoying mine as well, though I just realized I am doing one bit wrong so have to frog back several inches. Sigh. Lucky it’s yarn I like knitting with!

    1. Yes, yes! Feeling much more relaxed now and so is Moose, I think!

      Thank you! I’m really enjoying the shawl immensely! I’m sorry to hear you’ll be frogging a bit, but better now than later!

  2. Your hubby is so very thoughtful. Mine hates the beach too, and I love it, so we always have the same dilemma at our house. I’m glad you’re finding a way for that beautiful yellow yarn to work. Yes, it’s possible, and it’s also painful to do all that math – grateful, you can do it, and Tecumseh is worth it.

    I completely understand the schedule vs. quality time – both are important and they surely are often at odds. With retirement still somewhat new to me, I’m continuing to adjust to having no particular schedule, and yet I keep trying to make a schedule of it. So many years of regimented time just doesn’t go away! I’m grateful that you can make adjustments that give your kids outdoor and grandparent time – those are as important as the school activities. You do a wonderful job of juggling. Deep breath, Mom, and hugs to Moose!

    1. Yes, I am really hopeful the Tecumseh will work even at the bigger gauge. We all know that around here, having a slightly warmer sweater generally isn’t a bad thing!

      I will say the scheduling aspect of being at home full time has always been one of the hardest things for me because I have a tendency to make up rules that I perceive as hard and fast when really they are my own constructs that can be flexible. You’d think I would learn after all this time!

  3. Back in our homeschool days (my kids are adults now) I much preferred a schedule to simply winging it. But when I hear other HSers worrying about a disruption to their schedule, I’m always reminded of our ‘year from hell.’ In one school year, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer & died, my mom went blind, moved out of the house she’d been in for 53 years and into a retirement/assisted living center… which burned down 2 months later. At the time, we were building a house and living with the in-laws and Great Grandma who had Alzheimer’s. Hurricane Gaston hit us and left us with 10 feet of water in the house. We had six other close relatives and a close friend die during that time as well. It was a complete nightmare! When it came time for the kids’ end of year evaluation, I was terrified. We hadn’t ‘schooled’ at all. I was convinced they’d take my kids away.

    But, it turns out, the kids learned more during that year of no school than they did any other year. They learned all about cancer, radiation, chemo, lung function, heart function, how heart defibrillators work, how the eyes work and how they look ‘behind scenes’; they learned about fire safety and clean up; they learned a LOT about compassion, how to care for the sick/elderly. They got lots of handwriting practice writing get well cards. They spent hours on end reading in waiting rooms…. They learned about floods and the problems they cause, boating safety and how to paddle a canoe (in our back yard!) They learned/experienced living without power or drinking water for 6+ weeks…

    In other words, they may not have passed the SOL’s that year, but they learned SO much more than any textbook could have provided. So to make a VERY long comment (sorry!!) a bit longer…. Enjoy the chaos of a disrupted schedule. Every experience the kids have is a learning experience.

    Btw, those beach photos are Fantastic!

    1. Thank you! This is such a great reminder to take the “disruptions” and re-categorize them as “opportunities for growth” — it’s easy to get lost in my own head as to what we “should” be doing!

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